What’s Love Got to Do With It?…

29 Mar

As human beings, in my opinion we are all yearning for one main thing which is to love and to be loved no matter how young or old we may be. This leads me nicely to the subject matter at hand teen parents or disadvantaged youths?

As I write this blog I begin to ask myself various questions, but I guess the one question that stands out the most is ‘Why did I find myself amongst the statistics, why did I get pregnant at such a young question? I cannot say that I was not loved, or that I came from a broken family, or that I was abused or even pressured into doing something that I really did not want to do.

The answer that comes to mind is the fact that naively as it may sound, I never knew that having sex without the right precaution could actually lead to anything. The thought of Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) especially back in the 90’s was not something I was aware of. To be honest with you I did not think of sex prior to my first time, so what ensued as a result of having sex especially unprotected was a great shock to me. I never believed it could happen to me, to be honest with you I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

I fear that many of our youths within our society today probably feel the same way and if given the opportunity to explain themselves will probably say the same thing. I strongly believe that we need to steer away from the stereotypical reports that we hear in the news and start reading in between the lines. Many youths are suffering needlessly, carrying heavy baggages from diverse situations with a cry for help written all over those situations but unfortunately unable to voice things out. Searching for their idea of love from all the wrong places and then landing themselves in problems that will steer them into downward spiral of despair.

As mentioned above, the human race is searching for love in one way or the other. The fact that an abused victim will choose to still remain with his/her abuser in the name of love should let us understand that the power of love can never be underestimated. According to a newspaper article in The New York Times  – The Brain of Love by Diane Ackerman, ‘Just consider how much learning happens when you choose a mate. Along with thrilling dependency comes glimpsing the world through another’s eyes; forsaking some habits and adopting others (good or bad); tasting new ideas, rituals, foods or landscapes; a slew of added friends and family; a tapestry of physical intimacy and affection; and many other catalysts, including a tornadic blast of attraction and attachment hormones — all of which revamp the brain’. Also let’s not forget the defensive response given to anyone who appears to oppose the relationship. I guess the human psyche works in different ways and we cannot really comprehend the full picture or understand how it works.

In conclusion, I have come to realise that a gentle touch is needed when dealing with youths because they seem to abide by a set of rules that sometimes appear to be different from ours. Their language is different in the way the interact with each other and even the understanding of the world sometimes is seen through glass tinted windows. So in response to my own question teen parents or disadvantaged youths, I would say a better understanding of how to interact with them is needful because unless a proper channel of communication and trust is built in the youth’s mind. Showing them what true love really is, the saga continues, nothing changes and the older generations continues to be disengaged from the youths.

By Magdalene Adenaike BA, FRSA

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